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Exploring a Personal Upgrade

I am a super sentimental person.  Like over the top.  Scrapbooks.  Pictures.  OMG. The pictures.  I have 28,000 on my phone, not really organized or backed up well.  

When I was a child, my parents/mom did none of that.  I have virtually no pictures of myself as a kid. My mom didn’t show up at my soccer games and take pictures.  She didn’t bug me about holding still to catch the smile and such.  She wasn’t that kind of person.  I guess thats ok.  

Though let’s be real. It stings a SHIT TON because she loves loves loves to take pictures of flowers and things and that. And her cat.  I mean, that was recently, I couldn’t say that about her during my younger years.  I really don’t remember that about her. She went to school, worked and such.

I am sentimental.  I think a decent portion of that comes from my past, not having real great memories and having just about nothing of my childhood.  Like I didn’t exist.  

WOW. There is a truth right there.  Like this 2000 piece puzzle that D and I worked on. I really loved the experience.  We grew as a couple a bit.  We enjoyed each other a bit.  There was a lot of thoughts that I entertained during.  The kids helped.  Just good stuff.  So … when it was finished, I saw a cool puzzle.  But I also saw a glowing thing of love and family.  Of something that I want a lot more of.

LOL.  Kind of like my AWFUL looking bike shoes.  They have gotten me through all my triathloning so far.  3 ironman.  A lot of blood guts and tears.  And yeah, a couple of times they might have smelled like urine.  A couple of relationships.  Some amazing times.  Some horrible times.  So I see them now, with new shoes that are just fine, training for ironman #4 (corona style, meaning a self ran ironman due to the world shutting down to survive), and I don’t want to throw them away.  D had fixed one of them when we first starting out out.  I mean seriously!!!! Some new dude was messing with my STINKY bike shoes, fixing them so they didn’t hurt my feet.  I want to dip them in that plating stuff like you do the baby’s first shoes and hang on the wall. LOL.  I’m silly.

Back to the puzzle, I didn’t want to take it apart.  I wanted to glue it together. Memorialize it.  Hang it up.  To store the juju, love and magic.  Cling to the hope that during difficult times in our house, that it will continue.  (I struggle with fear of abandonment issues, thanks mom and dad).   

I’m doing this relationship school program which is really helping me to open my eyes to how some of my behaviors make it claustrophobic for others.  Make it compressing.  I feel like this thing I wanted to do with the puzzle was more that than loving and honest being a sappy sap.  I wanted to grasp on to something in the hopes that it will stay forever.  

Thats the heart of a child that has been abused, starved, victimized and abandoned.  Those monsters, I’m working to get to know, tame and learn to be friends with.  Maybe help them be less monster like.  You know, like the Gremlins.  They didn’t eat over midnight.  They returned back to cute and cuddly.

I let the puzzle sit for a good bit. To try and figure out what I was going to do with it.  I was having a hard moment related to teenagers and the struggles there, was in a pissy mood … D said, don’t take it apart.  I was on the verge at that moment of just throwing the whole thing away, I’m that frustrated with the teenager/ex husband situation.  His kind words, direction, calmed me down in that moment and I walked away from it.  

I came back the next day and decided that I was going to do something different.  He doesn’t view stuff like I do.  He’s not even remotely as sentimental as I am.  Though it did mean good stuff for him.  And we live in a tiny house.  Hoarding all the good juju stuff just isn’t possible.

It really came down to the biggest reason why I wanted to keep it. Store love.  And grasp things so they don’t change.  So I thought.  I can keep the puzzle. Maybe we do it again. I have another puzzle.  Love isn’t something that just stays in a puzzle.  It’s stored in the kitchen table that it was on. In the location.  In the act.  In our home that we are working hard to build and protect.  

So … as we begin to work on another puzzle, that love is there.   As is well. 

YOU ARE AWESOME!
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All about Vitamin D

Vitamin D : fat-soluble vitamin, which is actually a hormone. It is the only vitamin that the body will produces on its own.

  • ergocalciferol-D2
  • cholecalciferol-D3
  • alfacalcidol

Some Facts

  • Helps your body absorb calcium and phosphorus. This is vital for strong and healthy bones.
  • A fall in the concentration of calcium in the bloodstream is detected by the parathyroid glands, which then produce parathyroid hormone. Parathyroid hormone increases the activity of the enzyme (catalyst) that produces active vitamin D. This increase in the concentration of calcium together with vitamin D feeds back to the parathyroid glands to stop further parathyroid hormone release. The production of vitamin D is also directly regulated by calcium, phosphate and calcitriol.
  • Naturally occurring in some foods, added to others, and made by the body when UV lights hits the skin.
  • Must be activated by two produces in the body to be utilized. One is done in the liver, the second is done in the kidney. Very nutshell version.
  • Promotes calcium absorption in the gut
  • Helps prevent hypocalcemic tetany (involuntary contraction of muscles, leading to cramps and spasms)
  • Reduction of inflammation
  • Regulation of many processes such as cell growth, neuromuscular, immune function, and glucose metabolism

Huge Benefits

  • Reduces Depression: Research has shown that vitamin D can serve an important role in regulating mood and reducing depression and anxiety. In one study, scientists found that people with depression who received vitamin D supplements noticed an improvement in their symptoms.
  • Helps facilitate weight loss

Some Sources

  • fatty fish (such as trout, sardines, salmon, tuna, and mackerel)
  • Beef liver, cheese, yogurt and egg yolks
  • Mushrooms provide variable amounts of vitamin D2
  • Fortified foods like milk

Vitamin D and Depression

  • Low levels of vitamin D have been associated with decreased cognitive function, specifically in the realm of mental health
  • Researchers behind a 2013 meta-analysis noticed that study participants with depression also had low vitamin D levels.
  • It’s also worth mentioning here that vitamin D is thought to be able to activate the synthesis of serotonin, a neurotransmitter and hormone that, similar to dopamine, can help to improve your mood.

Vitamin D and Hormones (sex)

  • Testosterone : Studies have found that an adequate level of vitamin D is actually pretty important for regulating this crucial sex hormone.

How Being Deficient Might Feel

  • Fatigue, aches and pains
  • A general sense of not feeling well
  • Severe bone or muscular pain or weakness
  • Stress fractures

Food*Micrograms
(mcg) per
serving
International
Units (IU)
per serving
Percent DV*
Cod liver oil, 1 tablespoon34.01,360170
Trout (rainbow), farmed, cooked, 3 ounces16.264581
Salmon (sockeye), cooked, 3 ounces14.257071
Mushrooms, white, raw, sliced, exposed to UV light, ½ cup9.236646
Milk, 2% milkfat, vitamin D fortified, 1 cup2.912015
Soy, almond, and oat milks, vitamin D fortified, various brands, 1 cup2.5-3.6100-14413-18
Ready-to-eat cereal, fortified with 10% of the DV for vitamin D, 1 serving2.08010
Sardines (Atlantic), canned in oil, drained, 2 sardines1.2466
Egg, 1 large, scrambled**1.1446
Liver, beef, braised, 3 ounces1.0425
Tuna fish (light), canned in water, drained, 3 ounces1.0405
Cheese, cheddar, 1 ounce0.3122
Mushrooms, portabella, raw, diced, ½ cup0.141
Chicken breast, roasted, 3 ounces0.141
Beef, ground, 90% lean, broiled, 3 ounces01.70

Optimal serum concentrations of 25(OH)D for bone and general health have not been established because they are likely to vary by stage of life, by race and ethnicity, and with each physiological measure used [1,13,14]. In addition, although 25(OH)D levels rise in response to increased vitamin D intake, the relationship is nonlinear [1]. The amount of increase varies, for example, by baseline serum levels and duration of supplementation. Resource: https://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/VitaminD-HealthProfessional/

*Serum concentrations of 25(OH)D are reported in both nanomoles per liter (nmol/L) and nanograms per milliliter (ng/mL). One nmol/L = 0.4 ng/mL, and 1 ng/mL = 2.5 nmol/L.

  • children and teens: 600 IU
  • adults up to age 70: 600 IU
  • adults over age 70: 800 IU
  • pregnant or breastfeeding women: 600 IU


nmol/L*ng/mL*Health status
<30<12Associated with vitamin D deficiency, which can lead to rickets in infants and children and osteomalacia in adults
30 to <5012 to <20Generally considered inadequate for bone and overall health in healthy individuals
≥50≥20Generally considered adequate for bone and overall health in healthy individuals
>125>50Linked to potential adverse effects, particularly at >150 nmol/L (>60 ng/mL)