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The Train Station called Change

It’s interesting how life is mainly change, yet we have get a pretty good habit of avoiding change, being very resistant to change. Change can be scary. The unknown can be scary. It seems that we are being programmed to “plan ahead”, “think ahead”, “have all your ducks in a row”, etc. I think planning is important, but not to the point were we aren’t flexible enough to duck and weave.

The other day I was meditating and a picture of a train station come into my mind. A big train station, like one you could experience in New York City. LOADS of people, and sounds. Things going really fast. The trains, the suitcases on wheels, the billion conversations that breeze by the ears. The peeping and bells, the dings and doors opening and closing. The hustle and bustle. The URGENCY.

I was thinking that I’m feeling like I’m standing in the middle of all that, with my life. With all the change going on. Things coming pretty fast. LOUDLY, from all different directions. It can get a bit overwhelming. Couple thoughts seemed to tone it all down.

Remember, you’re standing in the train station.

Not everything I see and hear needs my attention. My time. My effort. I can tune some of it out. Just look around, stay focused, use your plan/guide to help you know which you can tune out. If you’re not going out of the country, don’t look at that sign or sheet.

You can still go slow, even if everyone else is sprinting. Sometimes you might need to hurry your backside along, I think more often we can easily not hurry.

No location is bad. Just different. You’ll learn something along the way.

If you can’t choose with train, make the best guess. Knowing the last mentioned thought. And putting this one with it. You can ALWAYS get back on when you get there and return. You might see something you never expected, maybe even something you needed before you get to the train you “were suppose to be on”.

Change can be unpleasant. Difficult to remain relaxed and in harmony.

Change can also be liberating. Insightful. Fun.

Keep your sense of humor about you. Your plan/guide. And smile.


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Abandonment and a Journey Up the Mountain

Yesterday I felt driven, required, inspired to drive a pitfall that had been abandoned to a foster family many hours away.  I have always had this special place in my heart for things that needed rescued.  

A bit of back story, I signed up for a 70.3 in Des Moines, Iowa to inspire, force, drive myself to finish up some work that I have been  doing in the area of inner child healing, letting go, truly moving on.  We can talk about that later.

I let my mind explore why I was driven to help these dogs and I wanted to share with others the work that I viewed as difficult and life changing.  Using the service of helping dogs, which seems to be easier work than driving to a therapist weakly, to heal the heart.  After all, isn’t that what God tells us to do and perhaps why. Heal our souls through the work of helping other.  Being humble and practicing humanity.

Though a lot of thought that was mostly given to me, as during the trip I had decided to be super receptive to whatever thoughts and feelings were coming, and sharing back to the universe ... it was a very raw real and from the heart process.  Which I feel gifted me with the next awesome step in my evolution to healing my soul and becoming the next best version of myself.  

Yes.  I had forgiven my parents for all the things.  However, it was very clear that I had not really dealt with my abandonment issues.  Which at the VERY present time are really causing some other issues in areas of my life that were causing my grief and suffering. 

I did some following of my heart.  It makes me smile to see how the hours and days have progress.  Who I have reached out too. What they have said. And how through all of this, I found my next work.  

I like work.  I like to know that if I see a problem, I have some means of working on it.  It makes me feel incredibly powerless, stressed and all sorts of anxious feelings to know that something is wrong, really wrong, and I can’t get a handle on it.  I’m thankful that God told me.  Amazing.

Discovering that I really need to work on my fear of abandonment, which is causing some real in your face anxiety, is so empowering that I’m pretty darn pumped.  To know the issue means that I can find a solution.  The first link that I read was such an eye opening that it has instantly changed how I feel about myself and all the things I’m working on at the moment.  I feel in control again, empowered and that I can find a solution.  I do not feel lost anymore.    


Then I continued with searching and found some articles and resources and ended up finding a program, a series of books with some online resources to start with.  I feel great. Hopeful.

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