HERE IS THE KICKER .... THESE DEFICIENCIES PILE UP

... sometimes creating a perfect storm for feeling awful or being on the road to dying.

Example ... you have something happen to you. You get into a car accident and see someone die. It's tough. You end up with a bit of PTSD. Your body and mind/soul go through a physical stress response when you drive by the location, or see a car that looks the same. That response takes a toll on the body. The physical body gets more worn down. You get more tired. This zaps your body of all the nutrients below in it's EXPERIENCE of the event as well as the body's methods of responding recovering. The event AND the each follow on PTSD episode hurts/depletes the body. Then you eat carbs to help fix. Or drink. Your sleep is affected. You don't recover during your sleep, making all of this worse. You feel tired but what you don't know is your body is slipping further down into a hole. The hormonal system gets further degraded. Your blood sugar management system gets low from all of this. You put on weight. Your self-esteem takes a hit. You drink more. Your magnesium goes down further. Your Vitamin B. You eat worse. You sleep worse. You drink more. You stop exercising. You become diabetic. The mental stuff becomes too much and now you feel like you have anxiety. Or are depressed. You get high blood pressure. You get a heart issue. The story goes one a bit more right ....

The affects of being deficient go up EXPONENTIALLY. Creating a hole that is hard to climb out of and in most cases not cared for in all the different angles. Just a pill or two.

Or ...

For this conversation, the Triage Plan, with the goal of feeling better RIGHT NOW, we are going to supplement these things. To get a big fix now. Getting these from food would take a longer (too long) of a time, assuming strict consistency and good food. Phase 2 of this program addresses adding in more nutrient dense foods to fix the deficiencies with food.

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TRIAGE SUPPLEMENT LIST

Magnesium

Vitamin D

Vitamin B Complex

Protein : 100-120+ grams daily

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➕PROTEIN

Powerhouse of a macro nutritions

• Helps to create muscles, organs, nails and hair
• Helps your cells to communicate
• Facilitates muscle contraction
• Transmission of nerve signals
• Protein makes up
  • Immune molecules
  • Blood cells
  • Hormones, Enzymes and new protein cells

Resource: http://bonniekissinger.com/maximize-nutrition-with-proteins/

Resource: http://bonniekissinger.com/protein-the-superman-macronutrient/

PTSD/ANXIETY Implication

• Amino acids (and fatty acids) will help to combat the stress response
• Amino acids (and fatty acids) will produce enzymes and hormones that will counteract the stress response
• Amino acids are some of the building blocks of enzymes and hormones, to balance out the system all of the hormones need to be created in the correct amounts to create balance and harmony. IE ... being estrogen heavy, not enough resources to make enough progesterone (ladies) will result in a ratio heavy on estrogen. This is why you crave dark choc before your period. (a magnesium consideration)

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➕MAGNESIUM

Magnesium is involved in numerous processes that affect muscle function including oxygen uptake, energy production and electrolyte balance. Thus, the relationship between magnesium status and exercise has received significant research attention. This research has shown that exercise induces a redistribution of magnesium in the body to accommodate metabolic needs. There is evidence that marginal magnesium deficiency impairs exercise performance and amplifies the negative consequences of strenuous exercise (e.g., oxidative stress).

Magnesium is required for the conversion of inactive D3 to active D3. You can take a lot of D3 and not actually use it because there isn't enough magnesium available.

http://bonniekissinger.com/magnesium-is-critically-important-for-the-person-and-the-endurance-athlete/

https://www.bodysmart.com.au/health-tips/tight-and-sore-maybe-you-are-deficient-in-magnesium/

PTSD/ANXIETY Implication

• Magnesium is THE POWERHOUSE, functioning in the mitochondria as well as with in within cells to facilitate a plethora of functions. Relaxation of muscles is one example. A big example. If you do not have enough magnesium you can experience high blood pressure and the inside of the blood vessels, endothelial lining, can not relax. Yes the lining of your vessels contract and relax. You might experience heart arrhythmia due to not being able to relax all of the heart musculature. Rest Leg Syndrome is very common and is due to not enough magnesium available to FACILITATE your leg muscles to relax. Migraines, same story with blood vessels not being able to relax.
• Magnesium plays a critical roll in the nervous system being able to down regulate. So if you tell someone to "calm down" and they are low in magnesium for instance, they WILL NOT be able to. This is why Mind Over Matter is too simplified.
• The support of the endocrine system, fight or flight system, adrenals/etc (all the same thing) is critical. The adrenals are heavily reliant on magnesium as well as other things (a b vitamin to be specific ... see below). When the glands of the hormonal system aren't working well, the balance of it all can not be created. IE ... ladies end up being estrogen heavy, not enough resources to make enough progesterone. This is why you crave dark choc before your period. (a magnesium consideration)
• Anxiety is not just all in your head. It is a mental, physical and hormonal response to something. Legit. There is something. And your body is responding. It will respond in a hirewire fashion if it is deficient in magnesium (all of thse nutrients for that matter.)

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➕VITAMIN D3

Vitamin D3 is a fat-soluble "vitamin", which is actually a hormone that the body processes. Or can. Your body is stimulated to produce D3 through your EYES (which sunglasses decreases), through your skin which clothes and sunscreen decreases.

Regulation of many processes such as cell growth, neuromuscular, immune function, and glucose metabolism

Vitamin D specifically helps your body absorb calcium (and phosphate). We know a little about calcium, however, most don't know that the body and it's utilization of calcium is very very important. When this is wrong, you are dead or severely ill. Your blood levels of calcium MUST be correct, at the expense of your bones. This we do know.

• Strengthens bones and muscles. Works with calcium.
• Boosts immunity
• Improves mood. It has been show that low D3 will cause depression (which will cause lifestyle choices that will further low all of these.
• Reduces inflammation
• Improves heart function

IMPORTANT TO NOTE : your body can not convert the inactive form of D3 (like what you would get in a pill) without appropriate levels of magnesium. Magnesium changes the inactive form to an active form of D3 that you can use to feel freaking amazing.

http://bonniekissinger.com/all-about-vitamin-d/

https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements-vitamin-d/art-20363792

PTSD/ANXIETY Implication

• The implications here are probably more in the supporting and recovery aspect of PTSD and anxiety. Recovering and repairing from the stress response of things things going on.
• Your mood and sense of well being is going to be low with deficient D3.
• It is not physiologically clear how D3 affects our mood, tho it is known that it's very important for heart and brain health. As more studies are done with will become more apparent.
• https://montarebehavioralhealth.com/vitamin-d-the-connection-to-depression-and-anxiety/#
• You all know you feel so much better when you get out in the sunshine. It's helps. Wintertime blues makes PTSD and anxiety worse. Same system, stressed more.

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➕VITAMIN B COMPLEX

The family of B vitamins is a group of eight vital nutrients that plays a plethora of roles in the body. These nutrients enable organs and body systems to function correct. Which cascades together, overlaps to result in a human body functioning optimally. Or not when one or more of these nutrients are deficient. These vital nutrients also have their own specific roles and functions in the body.

Resource: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325292#what-are-b-vitamins

There are eight types of B vitamin, each with their own function:

• Thiamin (vitamin B-1): Heart, liver, kidney, brain. Metabolism of food (to make energy), creating neurotransmitters (feel good brain chemicals), some hormones.
• Riboflavin (vitamin B-2): Energy production, break down fats, making B3, converting B6 to a coenzyme needed.
• Niacin (vitamin B-3): Energy from our food, metabolic on the cellular level, communication among cells, expression of DNA in the cell.
• Pantothenic acid (vitamin B-5): New coenzymes, proteins and fats. Needed energy and metabolism.
• Pyridoxine (vitamin B-6): enzyme reactions, metabolism, breaking down carbs and fats, brain development, immune function.
• Biotin (vitamin B-7): break down of fats, carbs and protein, communication among cells, regulation of DNA.
• Folate (vitamin B-9): DNA replication, metabolism of vitamins and amino acids, proper cell division. (creating/repairing the body)
• Cobalamin (vitamin B-12): Creating new red blood cells, DNA synthesis, brain and neurological function, fat protein metabolism)

Together, they are called the vitamin B complex.

PTSD/ANXIETY Implication

• Deficiencies with the B vitamins is in the realm of the body just not having what it needs to function well or repair from stress and such. The deficiencies create inherit weaknesses which create areas of great imbalance. Which results in deeper depression, no desire or ability to really workout and do things. Lower energy. All of this crashes into PTSD and it's own affects, making things so much worse.
• Your mood and sense of well being is going to be low with deficient D3.
• It is not physiologically clear how D3 affects our mood, tho it is known that it's very important for heart and brain health. As more studies are done with will become more apparent.
• https://montarebehavioralhealth.com/vitamin-d-the-connection-to-depression-and-anxiety/#
• You all know you feel so much better when you get out in the sunshine. It's helps. Wintertime blues makes PTSD and anxiety worse. Same system, stressed more.

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COUPLE EXAMPLES OF THE B'S

Thiamin (vitamin B-1)

The heart, liver, kidney, and brain all contain high amounts of thiamin. The body needs thiamin for:

• breaking down sugar (carbohydrate) molecules from food
• creating certain neurotransmitters (brain chemicals)
• producing fatty acids
• synthesizing certain hormones

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Interestingly enough, you get vitamin B’s from meat and such. So when you aren’t eating enough meat / protein, the side affects are far reaching, and component on each other.

The symptoms of a vitamin B deficiency vary depending on which B vitamin you’re deficient in.

They can range from fatigue and confusion to anemia or a compromised immune system. Skin rashes also can occur.

Vitamin B12 deficient is very popular right now.

A vitamin B12 deficiency can lead to disruption in the nervous system and the circulatory system.

Vitamin B12 deficiencies can lead to megaloblastic anemia, a condition where the bone marrow produces large abnormally shaped red blood cells that do not function properly.

THIS MEANS IF YOUR RED BLOOD CELLS AREN’T WORKING RIGHT, YOU MIGHT NOT NEED AN IRON PILL.

Psychological conditions such as dementia, paranoia, depression, and behavioral changes can result from a vitamin B12 deficiency. Neurological damage sometimes cannot be reversed.

Vitamin B12 deficiency can cause the following symptoms:

• tiredness or fatigue
• weakness
• constipation
• loss of appetite
• weight loss 
• numbness and tingling in the hands and feet
• balance problems
• confusion
• poor memory
• soreness of the mouth or tongue

Resource: https://www.healthline.com/health/symptoms-of-vitamin-b-deficiency#vitamin-b-12

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How to pull it together

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Coconut oil is a great source of healthy fats, when metabolized, provides your body with vital fatty acids to use to perform a plethora of functions, including supporting heart/cardiovascular health, encouraging efficient metabolism, aka fat burning, fight of some bugs and raise your HDL (good) cholesterol ... to speak of just a couple of benefits.

Fatty acids do a lot of things for your body. While supporting metabolism so we don't look prego around the mid section, fatty acids are quick fuel for the body and brain. Meaning you feel better, your mood is more even heel thorough the day.

Coconut oil is a medium-chain triglycerides (MCT), meaning they are "shorter" fatty acid chains, meaning easier to break down and use. "chains" you could understand that as how fatty acids are stored. You got short ones, medium ones and long ones.

The BONUS BADASSERY of the medium-chain fatty acids is that they tend to go directly to the liver, where they are metabolized to be used as quick energy or turned into ketones. Ketones are stupid awesome for the brain, studies showing that MCTs are showing benefits in treatment for epilepsy, Alzheimers and other brain sideways things. Ketones also helps us get our appetite and hormones in check, reducing hunger when you aren't actually needing to eat.

Benefts

• Good for skin and hair
• Good for teeth
• Reduce hunger
• Improve mental health
• RAISE HDL, a marker for good cardiovascular health
• Has antimicrobial effects, bug fighting

https://youtu.be/Z-now1--OIU

Lauric acids makes up about 50% of the fatty acids in coconut oil, when metabolized turns into monolaurin. Both kill harmful pathogens ... bacterias, viruses and fungi.

Coconut oil helps with moisture content in the skin as well as reducing the systems of excema.

Coconut oil can be used during sexy time. BONUS!!!! 👊🏻❤️

Good for HAIR

GOOD FOR SKIN

GOOD FOR DOGS and CATS

HIGH Temp oil, so good to cook with!

WHAT TO BUY

Due to its mild flavor and high smoke point, refined coconut oil is a better choice for baking and cooking. However, minimally processed unrefined coconut oil may be better for skin and hair care, as well as certain dietary preferences.

6 of the best coconut oils

• Nutiva Organic Virgin Coconut Oil, $9.
• Viva Naturals Organic Extra-Virgin Coconut Oil, $8.
• Carrington Farms Organic Coconut Oil, $19.
• Nature's Way Coconut Oil, $15.
• Anjou Coconut Oil, $9.
• Dr. Bronner's Organic Virgin Coconut Oil, $15.

FACT : HDL (high-density lipoprotein), or “good” cholesterol, absorbs cholesterol and carries it back to the liver. The liver then flushes it from the body. High levels of HDL cholesterol can lower your risk for heart disease and stroke. (80 and up. The standard 60 is kinda low).

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Vitamin D : fat-soluble vitamin, which is actually a hormone. It is the only vitamin that the body will produces on its own.

• ergocalciferol-D2
• cholecalciferol-D3
• alfacalcidol

Some Facts

• Helps your body absorb calcium and phosphorus. This is vital for strong and healthy bones.
• A fall in the concentration of calcium in the bloodstream is detected by the parathyroid glands, which then produce parathyroid hormone. Parathyroid hormone increases the activity of the enzyme (catalyst) that produces active vitamin D. This increase in the concentration of calcium together with vitamin D feeds back to the parathyroid glands to stop further parathyroid hormone release. The production of vitamin D is also directly regulated by calcium, phosphate and calcitriol.
• Naturally occurring in some foods, added to others, and made by the body when UV lights hits the skin.
• Must be activated by two produces in the body to be utilized. One is done in the liver, the second is done in the kidney. Very nutshell version.
• Promotes calcium absorption in the gut
• Helps prevent hypocalcemic tetany (involuntary contraction of muscles, leading to cramps and spasms)
• Reduction of inflammation
• Regulation of many processes such as cell growth, neuromuscular, immune function, and glucose metabolism

Huge Benefits

• Fights Disease
  • reducing your risk of multiple sclerosis, according to a 2006 study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association
  • decreasing your chance of developing heart disease, according to 2008 findings published in CirculationTrusted Source
  • helping to reduce your likelihood of developing the flu, according to 2010 research published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition

• Reduces Depression: Research has shown that vitamin D can serve an important role in regulating mood and reducing depression and anxiety. In one study, scientists found that people with depression who received vitamin D supplements noticed an improvement in their symptoms.
• Helps facilitate weight loss

Some Sources

• fatty fish (such as trout, sardines, salmon, tuna, and mackerel)
• Beef liver, cheese, yogurt and egg yolks
• Mushrooms provide variable amounts of vitamin D₂
• Fortified foods like milk

Vitamin D and Depression

• Low levels of vitamin D have been associated with decreased cognitive function, specifically in the realm of mental health
• Researchers behind a 2013 meta-analysis noticed that study participants with depression also had low vitamin D levels.
• It’s also worth mentioning here that vitamin D is thought to be able to activate the synthesis of serotonin, a neurotransmitter and hormone that, similar to dopamine, can help to improve your mood.

Vitamin D and Hormones (sex)

• Testosterone : Studies have found that an adequate level of vitamin D is actually pretty important for regulating this crucial sex hormone.

How Being Deficient Might Feel

• Fatigue, aches and pains
• A general sense of not feeling well
• Severe bone or muscular pain or weakness
• Stress fractures
  
  

Food*	Micrograms (mcg) per serving	International Units (IU) per serving	Percent DV*
Cod liver oil, 1 tablespoon	34.0	1,360	170
Trout (rainbow), farmed, cooked, 3 ounces	16.2	645	81
Salmon (sockeye), cooked, 3 ounces	14.2	570	71
Mushrooms, white, raw, sliced, exposed to UV light, ½ cup	9.2	366	46
Milk, 2% milkfat, vitamin D fortified, 1 cup	2.9	120	15
Soy, almond, and oat milks, vitamin D fortified, various brands, 1 cup	2.5-3.6	100-144	13-18
Ready-to-eat cereal, fortified with 10% of the DV for vitamin D, 1 serving	2.0	80	10
Sardines (Atlantic), canned in oil, drained, 2 sardines	1.2	46	6
Egg, 1 large, scrambled**	1.1	44	6
Liver, beef, braised, 3 ounces	1.0	42	5
Tuna fish (light), canned in water, drained, 3 ounces	1.0	40	5
Cheese, cheddar, 1 ounce	0.3	12	2
Mushrooms, portabella, raw, diced, ½ cup	0.1	4	1
Chicken breast, roasted, 3 ounces	0.1	4	1
Beef, ground, 90% lean, broiled, 3 ounces	0	1.7	0

Optimal serum concentrations of 25(OH)D for bone and general health have not been established because they are likely to vary by stage of life, by race and ethnicity, and with each physiological measure used [1,13,14]. In addition, although 25(OH)D levels rise in response to increased vitamin D intake, the relationship is nonlinear [1]. The amount of increase varies, for example, by baseline serum levels and duration of supplementation. Resource: https://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/VitaminD-HealthProfessional/

*Serum concentrations of 25(OH)D are reported in both nanomoles per liter (nmol/L) and nanograms per milliliter (ng/mL). One nmol/L = 0.4 ng/mL, and 1 ng/mL = 2.5 nmol/L.

• children and teens: 600 IU
• adults up to age 70: 600 IU
• adults over age 70: 800 IU
• pregnant or breastfeeding women: 600 IU

nmol/L*	ng/mL*	Health status
<30	<12	Associated with vitamin D deficiency, which can lead to rickets in infants and children and osteomalacia in adults
30 to <50	12 to <20	Generally considered inadequate for bone and overall health in healthy individuals
≥50	≥20	Generally considered adequate for bone and overall health in healthy individuals
>125	>50	Linked to potential adverse effects, particularly at >150 nmol/L (>60 ng/mL)

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What if I told you that "obstacles and how you handle them leads to RESILIENCE? 💥💯👊🏻

What are "obstacles". Things that get in the way. Duh. Coach BK. For example, my spouse isn't supportive, my job is too hectic, I focus on my kids too much, I don't make my workouts a priority, I don't make me a priority. I self sabatage. I don't play very well. I procrastinate because I don't really want to work hard. I procrastinate because I don't want to catch up on all that I lost. I just don't want to. I am tired. I didn't sleep well. I can't get to the gym.

Are there two different kinds of obstacles. Excuses and legitimate things that get in the way that we really didn't create ourselves.

EXCUSES and BS stuff ... like not planning and packing our things when we watched 3 episodes of the 100.

LEGIT things .... like the weather and the pool schedule. Or our spouse not helping when I'm doing my part.

If you want to hit the EXCUSES and BS HEAD ON, continue to read on.

• Look at it. Write it down. And ask yourself. WHY. Why didn't I do that. And don't take "I don't know" for an answer. Ask enough and strong enough until you get a heart felt answer. That might come with a long sigh, tear, a curse word or head down kind of reaction. Truth.
• Write that down. Without negative words or thoughts. Just write it down.
• Then look at it in a loving and honest way, like you were trying to figure out why the faucet leaked, very objective without a lot of emotions. Problem solve why. Without judgement. "My job is really stressful and how I'm responding to the stress is stealing all my energy." "The lack of support from my spouse makes me sad and causes me to throw a mild pity party." "I have too much on my plate and I just don't have the energy." "I have too much on my plate and I'm making a big deal out of it all and thats taking up too much of my energy." "I am not good enough to prioritize to put me first, if I'm not important, why would I come first, or 2nd or ..."

The LEGIT obstacles you have to be creative and kinda reasonable.

For this group of obstacles, health conditions, logistically things, injuries, adulting duties ... you have to figure out how bad to you want your goal. Is the juice worth the squeeze and if there is a way to adjust fire. For example, can I do swim strength workouts instead of swimming in a pool because the pool schedule is really unreasonable and gets in the way of family time.

ON THE DAILY : WHAT TO DO

1. Awareness is key. KING.
2. Writing it down somehow is QUEEN.
3. Being honest and kind. Objective and real.
4. Breath into it, work to take a moment, get calm and aligned with your purpose and power words if you have them
5. Write out WHY. Ask until you get TRUTH
6. Be kind and objective and see about adjusting fire.
7. Work to write a different story. If it's a EXCUSE/BS thing that is getting in the way, write out what the ROCKSTAR version of you would do and how it would feel. Write a new store. OWN IT. Practice it.
8. If you get stuck, share with someone else THAT HAS SIMILAR GOALS OR ROLLS LIKE YOU DO OR WANT TO (clears her throat, share with your coach)
9. Get creative and try other things if it's a LEGIT, you don't have a lot of control over the obstacle. Like jobs/bosses/spouses/kids.
10. Explore. Repeat if it works. If it doesn't try again. And then explore how to adjust a bit and try again. Do not quit.
11. Be Patient. Let the written words sit for a day if it doesn't come together all at once. Let your heart and soul solve some of it. Impatience can push us out of this magic.

THIS LEADS TO RESILIENCE

https://youtu.be/2wzz8wOuxwk

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In the pursuit of healing and working to make peace with my "monsters", I have experienced many interesting "episodes" of life that have brought a lot of thoughts into my head and heart. They have have helped me to see how I am doing things that maybe others don't appreciate or aren't useful for their healing. And how it impacts me in my own pursuit of healing.

Let's be real. We all have monsters. Those very soft spots that we work to hide and protect. Yet in doing that, they are like gremlins and reek havoc in what we are calling that pursuit of happiness and success. We have been raped. We have been beaten. We have been left. We have been abused. We have seen shit that is awful. We have done things that are awful. We have made such glorious mistakes that we judge ourselves BAD.

Making peace with those monsters is tough shit. And the funniest of all of this I think, we all know it to be true, is that once we open pandora's box and give it an honest attempt, WORK, to make peace with a monster, that bitch goes sideways and fights back. It gets worse before it gets better. The people around us experience that. We experience that. We are like, what the fuck, why am I doing this ... it's getting harder not better. Those self improvement folks are full of shit. As with any "renovation", like in a kitchen, it gets awfully messy before you see the beauty start to unfold. Before things are functional. Really fucking messing sometimes. Especially if you grow a pair and decide to really face one of your bigger and scary monsters.

THAT is where (and why) you find your tribe. Those people that have your back. That can stand up when you can't. That can see you for you and don't back down and run. That LOVE YOU FOR YOU, not just the good parts that make them feel good.

I sure hope that you have someone(s) around you that are worthy. That they don't all pussy out. I truly believe that is where suicide and fuck this I'm done comes from. We are pretty good at leaving people in the dark.

JUDGEMENT. LEAVING A MAN BEHIND.

It's easy to help and support the rape victim that cries a lot. Needs lots of hugs and is soft and cuddly. It is very hard to help and support the person that has been through some major shit and when they go sideways they react with violence or loud. I mean fuck tho, if you were beaten and raped and left to fend for yourself ... wouldn't it make sense to have a strong warrior, I'm gonna cut you mentality. Seriously. Where in the world did we go so wrong in not having common sense about some things. Some of us react in anger, self defense, PUT YOUR DUKES UP. We have let this pansey ass cultural tell us that folks that get angry are ... wrong. bad. need medicated. don't need grace.

I am not saying that violence is right wrong, whatever. I'm saying that it's something we do when we hurt. And we generally have ZERO grace for that particular type of people that react that way. YES. There is a whole group of folks that feel ... not accepted because they get angry and want to throat punch you, instead of crawl in your lap and cry, or eat their way to china or fuck their way to china.

The folks that can throw down and fight. We value it when it's a police officer saving a little kid from a predator. We don't value it when it's a grown as women that has PTSD and a serious trigger about having to protect herself. We don't value it when it's a soldier that has been beat down in training so much that what they know, how to be a warrior, goes sideways in the "normal" world.

We are so judgmental about some things. We give little grace to some things. We don't zoom out and ask, what actually went on for that person. Where are they hurting. We take things HELLA personally.

OH WAIT, thats about me. Not ... hey, whats going on in their world.

OR

OH WAIT, if I react like this, it distracts me from what this "episode" is actually saying about where I NEED TO WORK. NOPE. I don't need to work, it's only that other person.

Judgement is a BREACH in trust. You are telling them you think they aren't good enough. You are telling them you don't accept them.

Not to mention your judgement feeds their own self judgement and criticism. Fuel for the fire. That fire can make someone stronger and heal, or it can burn them to ashes.

We don't have to go around and coddle all the things people do. Play like it doesn't need to be addressed and them held accountable to their actions. However, we do need to be very careful in how we react. You can burn bridges. You can break trust. You can be wrong. You can hurt others and push them ... away. down.

Do you really want to judge someone and that PUSH THEM DOWN? What if they are just barely making it. What if your lack of compassion, grace and love is the last straw and they say fuck it.

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BE CALM & BE STRONG

Alternate nostril breathing is a yogic breath control practice. In Sanskrit, it’s known as nadi shodhana pranayama. This translates as “subtle energy clearing breathing technique.”
This type of breath work can be done as part of a yoga or meditation practice. Alternate nostril breathing can also be done as its own practice to help you quiet and still your mind.

BENEFITS - the quick list
Alternate nostril breathing may help to:

• Balance the body energetically
• Relax your body and mind
• Reduce anxiety
• Heal from stress
• Promote overall well-being

BENEFITS - the SUPER cool stuff

• It improves attention and fine-motor coordination/performance.
• It activates the parasympathetic nervous system and reduces blood pressure.
• Lowers stress and improves cardiovascular functionOne of the main benefits of alternate nostril breathing is that it may lower stress. A 2013 study found that people who practiced alternate nostril breathing lowered their perceived stress levels.
• Improves lung function and respiratory enduranceYogic breathing practices may improve lung function and respiratory endurance. A small 2017 study examined the effects of pranayama practice on the lung functions of competitive swimmers and found that it had a positive effect on respiratory endurance.  Improved respiratory endurance may also improve athletic performance.  The swimmers in the study did alternate nostril breathing in addition to two other breathing practices for 30 minutes, five days a week for one month. Larger, more in-depth studies are needed to expand upon these findings.
• Lowers heart rateLowering your heart rate can help to promote cardiovascular health. According to a 2006 study, engaging in a slow yogic breath such as alternative nostril breathing may significantly decrease heart rate and average breathing rhythm.
  Alternate nostril breathing may be a useful method to help you lower your heart rate in the moment, too.
• Promotes well-beingAlternate nostril breathing may enhance overall health and well-being. It has also been shown to have a positive effect on mental health by reducing stress and anxiety.​

https://youtu.be/kDidlMoDv0o

How To Do It
Focus on keeping your breath slow, smooth, and continuous. Focusing on your breath will help you to remember where you are in the cycle. You should be able to breathe easily throughout the practice.
To practice alternate nostril breathing:

• Sit in a comfortable position with your legs crossed.
• Place your left hand on your left knee.
• Lift your right hand up toward your nose.
• Exhale completely and then use your right thumb to close your right nostril.
• Inhale through your left nostril and then close the left nostril with your fingers.
• Open the right nostril and exhale through this side.
• Inhale through the right nostril and then close this nostril.
• Open the left nostril and exhale through the left side.
• This is one cycle.
• Continue for up to 5 minutes.
• Always complete the practice by finishing with an exhale on the left side.

Useful and Research Links
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5660749/
https://www.calmwithyoga.com/increase-vital-energy-alternate-nostril-breathing/
https://theyogaspace.co.uk/blog/PostId/261/yogis-ahead-of-science-one-nostril-breathing-determines-how-you-feel
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I am a super sentimental person.  Like over the top.  Scrapbooks.  Pictures.  OMG. The pictures.  I have 28,000 on my phone, not really organized or backed up well.  

When I was a child, my parents/mom did none of that.  I have virtually no pictures of myself as a kid. My mom didn’t show up at my soccer games and take pictures.  She didn’t bug me about holding still to catch the smile and such.  She wasn’t that kind of person.  I guess thats ok.  

Though let’s be real. It stings a SHIT TON because she loves loves loves to take pictures of flowers and things and that. And her cat.  I mean, that was recently, I couldn’t say that about her during my younger years.  I really don’t remember that about her. She went to school, worked and such.

I am sentimental.  I think a decent portion of that comes from my past, not having real great memories and having just about nothing of my childhood.  Like I didn’t exist.  

LOL.  Kind of like my AWFUL looking bike shoes.  They have gotten me through all my triathloning so far.  3 ironman.  A lot of blood guts and tears.  And yeah, a couple of times they might have smelled like urine.  A couple of relationships.  Some amazing times.  Some horrible times.  So I see them now, with new shoes that are just fine, training for ironman #4 (corona style, meaning a self ran ironman due to the world shutting down to survive), and I don’t want to throw them away.  D had fixed one of them when we first starting out out.  I mean seriously!!!! Some new dude was messing with my STINKY bike shoes, fixing them so they didn’t hurt my feet.  I want to dip them in that plating stuff like you do the baby’s first shoes and hang on the wall. LOL.  I’m silly.

Back to the puzzle, I didn’t want to take it apart.  I wanted to glue it together. Memorialize it.  Hang it up.  To store the juju, love and magic.  Cling to the hope that during difficult times in our house, that it will continue.  (I struggle with fear of abandonment issues, thanks mom and dad).   

I’m doing this relationship school program which is really helping me to open my eyes to how some of my behaviors make it claustrophobic for others.  Make it compressing.  I feel like this thing I wanted to do with the puzzle was more that than loving and honest being a sappy sap.  I wanted to grasp on to something in the hopes that it will stay forever.  

Thats the heart of a child that has been abused, starved, victimized and abandoned.  Those monsters, I’m working to get to know, tame and learn to be friends with.  Maybe help them be less monster like.  You know, like the Gremlins.  They didn’t eat over midnight.  They returned back to cute and cuddly.

I let the puzzle sit for a good bit. To try and figure out what I was going to do with it.  I was having a hard moment related to teenagers and the struggles there, was in a pissy mood ... D said, don’t take it apart.  I was on the verge at that moment of just throwing the whole thing away, I’m that frustrated with the teenager/ex husband situation.  His kind words, direction, calmed me down in that moment and I walked away from it.  

I came back the next day and decided that I was going to do something different.  He doesn’t view stuff like I do.  He’s not even remotely as sentimental as I am.  Though it did mean good stuff for him.  And we live in a tiny house.  Hoarding all the good juju stuff just isn’t possible.

It really came down to the biggest reason why I wanted to keep it. Store love.  And grasp things so they don’t change.  So I thought.  I can keep the puzzle. Maybe we do it again. I have another puzzle.  Love isn’t something that just stays in a puzzle.  It’s stored in the kitchen table that it was on. In the location.  In the act.  In our home that we are working hard to build and protect.  

So ... as we begin to work on another puzzle, that love is there.   As is well. 

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❓Do the work by yourself? or are these relationship things needed?

❓Do we have an epidemic of blocking, unfriending, ghosting?

❓Do we run away from the unknown, the uncomfortable, the scary too much?

❓Do we need to learn how to share space, love and energy with others?

I started out as a Life coach, and a nutrition coach, then a yoga teacher, now a tri coach, or epic hard stuff. It has been interesting to see the progression of myself and how I have more tools to help others achieve their goals and dreams, and help them to see that they can achieve a whole lot more than what they thought possible. Pretty hard cool, I get to see miracles. All the stinking time.

I have been working on myself, pretty heavy for the last 5 to 10 years. I have a lot to unravel, clean up, clear out and all that. Rebuild stronger. More resilient. Through all of this, I see with each step forward that my abilities to help others increases. Cool.

Currently I am learning that we really do need each other. This is probably one of the biggest things that we are getting wrong. That we feel like we have to figure stuff out on our own. Our culture teaches that. And let’s face it, being vulnerable and asking for help. We really suck at that. We are super judgy of ourselves and others which makes this line of thought even more of a challenge. Why would you want to make yourself vulnerable to someone when maybe you fear them judging you and being an ass, which, perhaps thats historically what has happened. And frankly, I don’t see ourselves as a culture improving on this much.

Social media is sure making this even more of a emotional habit/escape that we do. It’s so easy to unfriendly someone, to ghost them, to not communicate. And then to take it up a notch and to post silly self rationalizing things that make you feel better. Promote the person not taking responsibility for it. AND we get acknowledgement and positive re-informcement for that crap tactic behavior because either the people liking and encourage you doon’t know the story, their own story is trigger or we just like being bullies and self righteous judges of all things. That mob mentality.

🙂 Gosh. That was a lot. #nmf

So, these relationships that we find ourselves in. Rarely do they go perfect. There is some rubbing. Especially with time. Our friends and lovers, children and what not are mirrors for our own stuff. We love to leave those relationships because it’s hard to look in the mirror and see someone that really embraces the victim role, can be an asshole, Whiney, etc. How’s that for judgy. We all have our stuff that promotes behaviors that hurt others. Period. Looking in the mirror, seeing it and working on it takes bravery.

AND RELATIONSHIPS. it takes communication, lessons, practice and another person helping you to learn the lesson. Because for FUCK SAKES, this stuff doesn’t come from Amazon. We have to earn it. We have to earn trust, security with others, a good relationship, peace, etc. We have to do the work that is on our plate. We have to show up. Dig. Then wash rinse repeat. It’s a dance that we have to learn. With a partner.

Doing it by ourselves isn’t working. Truly. Look at us as a culture.

We have to communicate our people what we are working on, we have to do the work, they need to give us space to practice and gentle guidance when we need to change it up and keep working. Just like learning to shoot hoops, drive a golf ball. We try. We practice. We adjust. We practice. We get help. We continue. To practice.

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Life moves fast. Things change on a D I M E Life can be super surprising. One moment everything is fine and the next a parent dies, a child gets really sick, a husband leaves, you get laid off ... the list goes on and on and on. We have to navigate these things well. Sometimes we don't. Celebrating life daily is KEY to building resilience and a bias towards positive attitude, problem solving and action forward. We are not saying that you don't feel your feelings and all that. However, we can feel our feelings and still continue to move forward in a problem solving, positive manner. When we say ... be more resilient ... to be truthful I wonder how we cultivate this. For me, in previous years, I would have said that you had to work really hard. "Stay hard" or something like that right. David Goggins stuff. While I'm not saying that he's not on point with a lot of what he says, but I do feel like we are ... leaning way to far to that side of work hard until you make it. I have learned in my life that we need more of the softer power. It's not any less powerful, just different, which I believe makes us more resilient LONG TERM. When we are young, it's easy to work your ass off until you are epically in shape and all that. PUSH PUSH PUSH. And then keep pushing some more. As we get older and the body maybe wears down a bit, or we get injured, or we have some sort of medical condition that changes the game up for us ... the your definition of what is "working hard" and what you are pushing is changes. Has to. Doesn't make you less, makes your smart, because you are so much more than just "stay hard". Sometimes the softer approach helps us to know when to rest. Sometimes we MUST REST when "stay hard" and "PUSH PUSH PUSH" is the default. Like there is a lot of power in saying nothing instead of saying something. There is power in approaching conflict with loving investigative questions instead of ignoring it or being brash/hard. There is power and perhaps better healing in rest and loving, instead of constantly pushing to get "back" to something. YOU CAN GO FREAKING BACKWARDS ANYWAY. LET THAT SHIT GO. Resilience. Being able to stand up in a storm, and do the best that you can. FOR YOURSELF. AND FOR THOSE AROUND YOU. Contrary to all the memes and shit, it's not all about you and what benefits you and shit. You are meant to do you and deal with your shit. As the other person is meant to do them and deal with their shit. You do these things simultaneously, and like FREAKING MAJIC ... you both are stronger together. Parents. Partners. Friends. Lovers. Team. Protectors. Goal chasers. Resilience is where you can handle your shit. And a bit of someone else's as well. Resilience is standing up and doing the right thing. For God, country, family, community and mankind. PERIOD. When we draw our strength and motivation from things of love and God gifts, we will be so epically strong that we will sweat resilience out our pores and people will see us shine. You will impact those around you in MAjIC ways. Miracles happen. You let faith go first ahead of the little bit that you know and SHIT JUST BOOMED. That is true resilience. So where do you store up this energy. Where do you CELEBRATE HONOR AND SOAK UP WHEN NEEDED more of the energy that makes you stronger. It's not the damn gym, long runs, push push push pushing ... it's in the eyes of those you help, the achieves that you see and celebrate, the love and grit that you share. With yourself and with others. THAT IS WHERE YOU DEVELOP THIS UNSHAKEABLE RESILIENCE That stands up through the darkest of your times and those around you. You must see this energy. Save it. See it. Honor it. Store it. And soak it up when needed. When you are low. In the digital world, we are taking all this good MAJIC away. For the most part. We need tangible, concrete, vault like ways of storing this energy for our souls. Mine is with vision boards, dream boards, paper planners and celebrate love boards. I gaze on it. It's not so much that it fills my heart and soul with good MAJIC ... it just helps me to clear all the things in the way of connecting in with that power within myself. That is the secret. We are at 100%, always. We just let too many things get in the way, and we don't have intentional ways of clearing the decks daily, hourly, whatever.

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